You don't always get what you want...
Recently, I applied for a different job that would ultimately change my entire schedule. It was a day shift position working Monday thru Friday, no weekends, no holidays. I've been working night shift for over 7 years now and I have felt that I was being led in that direction. I really thought that I had a really good chance at getting the position. Well, a little over a week ago, I received the call to let me know that someone else was offered the position. I will not divulge what the situation is, but I will just say that it was a huge kick in the gut. I was quickly thinking about being in elementary school and being the last one standing when teams were picked for kick ball. It's amazing how our insecurities manifest themselves.
I was never the most popular girl is elementary school. I had some really great friends, but the scars are still there from being a bit heavy and being called "thunder thighs" as I was sitting on the monkey bars in PE. I digress...
Since this situation occurred, it has made me rethink some things. Like I said, I really felt like I was being led into this position. Now I can't help but wonder if it was really God leading me or was it my own voice just wanting something so bad that I convinced myself that it was God. I did have some reservations about working Mon-Fri since I've worked 7 on 7 off for 8 years and have never actually worked that schedule before. But I know that it is something that I could handle. I would love to be on the same schedule as the hubs and not stress so much around the holidays trying to work and fit in 2 family events. It's just tiring. Night shift is starting to get rough. I'm so happy that I have the schedule that I do, otherwise, I just don't think that I could function on a weekly basis.
Its been a rough couple of weeks! The day after I found out about the job, my father in law passed away. He had been in ICU for a week and is no longer hurting or living through the struggles he has had for 3 years since his massive stroke. During this time, I have been so blessed by the love shown from our families, friends, and coworkers. There is no doubt in my mind that the things that happen are for a reason and He has my best interest in hand. When God closes one door, another one opens. For now, I think that I just need to be quiet. Be still and listen-not to my own wants, but to His direction.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.