Venting...

I just got home from work and I feel like I need to vent a little.
Situation number one: I bought a box of tangelos from someones child at work. She brought them to me yesterday and I forgot to take them home with me and they were in a box in a chair in our nurse's lounge. This morning, I pick them up to bring them home, low and behold, someone has just decided to help themselves to half of MY box of tangelos. I had not even had one. I ask around, well of course no one saw anything because who would steal someones fruit right in front of someone else. I am trying to convince myself that apparently they needed the tangelos more than I did, they just were too ashamed to ask for them. And maybe that will be all they have to eat today. I just hope they don't get too much reflux from all of the citric acid they will be eating.
Second situation: I am on my way home talking to my mom and my mother in law calls me, (I work with my MIL) leaves me a message informing me that on the unit right beside ours, rumor has it that I am pregnant. Well, since I am not, that was news to her and she just wanted to let me know and make sure I didn't forget to tell her something. I called the person that asked my mother in law to see how that got started and why that was brought up. She says, "You were walking funny this morning." REALLY!?! Call me crazy, but pregnant people don't start walking funny until the third trimester and you would think everyone would've known if that was so-especially my MIL. And for the record- Just because I have gained a few extra pounds, doesn't mean that I am with child. I AM NOT PREGNANT. Don't ask!!!!
So what to do now. Definitely start back exercising and eating less and maybe tonight I will put up a Ten Commandments sign at work and highlight the DO NOT STEAL one.